The Double Standard Deconstruction
by ForsetiPurge
Summary: It is what it is.
1. Chapter 1

THE DOUBLE STANDARD DECONSTRUCTION

"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." Cordelia, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

NOTE

Special credit I must give to tvtropes. Without it I would have been a fool. Oh, and the Big Bang Theory is not mine. I only own the story.

* * *

HER ROOM

They were making out.

"So according to Alex, I might have been hit all the time," he said. "Far more often than I realized. I was like laughing all the way to my office. Can you believe that?"

She laughed. "Why not? She's right, you know. You are smart. You are funny. What more do girls need from a man?"

"I don't know. Height, maybe. English accent. Muscles."

She kissed him. "You're still jealous, aren't you?"

"Can't pretend I'm not."

She licked his ears. "You're not even trying. See, I'm not smart but I know what love is."

"Which is?"

She tightened her hug. "Accept you the way you are."

"Well, if that's the case, Raj would have had a harem by now."

She chuckled. "The poor thing. I felt sorry for him when you made fun of him in front of Alex."

He chuckled too. "Me, too."

And then he remembered.

"I never told you that."

"What?"

"That I made fun of Raj in front of Alex."

"Oh, well—"

He sat up.

"You're spying on me."

"I wasn't!" But she was. He knew her as much as she knew him. So he'd thought. "I'm just, I got dragged by Amy, she was worried about her around Sheldon, so I came to the university, and saw you with a very smart woman—"

"That's why you kept asking me what happened at work on dinner."

"No, I—"

"Yes, you_. _That's also why you took me out in front of her. Told her a lot of people can't experiment with me."

"Come on, you're not—"

"But I am. But I am," he said. "You know, for someone who told me I'm supposed to trust my partner, you don't exactly live up your own words."

He stood.

"Where are you going?"

He kept going. He did not answer. She rushed around him.

"Please."

"What?"

"Look. I'm sorry that I didn't trust you then—"

"Is that what you think this is about?"

"Well, what is it, then?"

She is holding her tears, he saw. He knew she was begging for more sand to her hourglass. But now he wouldn't sell her any.

"It's about your bullshit."

"What?"

"Your double standard. It pisses me off."

"I don't understand—"

"If you could be jealous of Alex's intelligence, why can't I be jealous of Cole's British accent?"

She couldn't answer.

"If you're insecure about your brain, why can't I be insecure about my height?"

Still no answer.

"You're mad at me because I watched Cole and warned him off. But those are exactly the same fucking thing you did with Alex. Tell me the difference." Before she could open her mouth, he answered it himself. "None. I just wish I knew then what I know now. But there is no difference."

"Okay, I admit it, but that's only one time—"

"Remember the time you strolled into my apartment, drunk, eager for sex, and I gladly obliged?"

"What about it?"

"Why can't I do the same with you? Is that because you're a woman and you can have drunk sex as you like? But I can't?"

Again, no answer. He tried to step around her, but she held his hand.

"All right, fine, I accept that, don't go, I'm so sorry—"

"I don't need your apology." He smiled. "And I don't want it either."

"What do you want, then? Please, just tell me and I—"

"I want your appreciation."

"All right, all right! I really appreciate that—"

But she had nothing to say, and he knew he'd scored. "Appreciate that I what?"

"You..."

"You can't even tell right away. Let me demonstrate so you can understand. Do you remember when I was trying to help with your paper?"

"I'm about to say that."

"No you're not. You thought I thought you're stupid. And so you bitched at me for making a big deal about it. For trying to help you. For fixing your F paper."

Her face was red.

"You must have Bernadette and Amy helping you with it. Probably bullied them to it, too. Like the mean prom queen to geek girls."

Even redder.

"It's not funny. Even if we were in a sitcom and there's laugh track that accompanies us, it's still not funny. Like anyone with a brain wouldn't have noticed it."

So red, her whole face could have been a wound. She was hurt. Good. He was tired being the one who got hurt.

"And what right do you have to make me pretend your blurting 'I love you' isn't a big deal?"

"I just don't want things to get complicated between us!"

"But it already has. I once blurted it out, said I love you. What did you do? You broke up with me."

She was silent.

"It's not me moving too fast. It's you who's afraid of commitment."

He stepped around her. Again, she tried to hold his hand. But this time he slapped it away.

"Why?"

"You've been taking me for granted, and I'm sick of it."

"That's not true—"

"Like I need you more than you need me."

In the past, maybe. But no more. She couldn't take responsibility in a relationship, that shit is on her. Not him. He didn't plan to give his life to a brat, a bully, a bitch. A cunt. And so he walked away, walked for the door, walked for the life he was entitled to.

"Leonard!"

He paused on the threshold. Turned around. She was crying. Normally he would be crying, too. Just like she said he would. Tears streamed down her red twisted face, ruining it into some sort of mess the art students made in their intro courses. It was an unseemly sight.

And it was at that moment he realized. She was only one woman, nothing more. She wasn't an invincible goddess he'd thought she'd been. She was beautiful woman, no doubt about that, but she wasn't the only woman out there. This world had a lot of other potential bright balls of sunshine for his life. He only had to find one. Or even if he didn't, he certainly wouldn't regret leaving the one who didn't deserve him. Like her.

Maybe Alex was right. He might have been hit on by girls far more often than he thought. Or maybe not. No matter. He needed to move on. Girls or no girls, he needed to end this. It was past time to deconstruct this double standard.

"Fuck you, Penny."

He closed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"Everybody's so nice. Nobody says what's on their minds." Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

* * *

Disclaimer: The story is mine. The Big Bang Theory is not. It belongs to its creators, who haven't learned their lesson. This chapter does not pick up where the previous one ends, but...

* * *

HIS BEDROOM

She was taking his clothes off.

"You're hot," he said. "So incredibly hot. Hotter than any material I've worked with."

She laughed. "How many Celsius am I?"

"You don't have to do that. On a second thought, it's still cute, though."

He kissed her.

"You ever thought about this before? You with a fellow scientist?"

"If it's you, I don't care what you are."

She kissed his neck. He moaned and grabbed her and hopped backward and landed on the bed. She landed on him. He was bare and she wasn't, and yet somehow this only excited him further. She must have read his thoughts because she said, "Eventually we will have to take my clothes off."

"I know."

"May I, Professor?"

"By all means."

She was an expert in this. Not a second she stopped kissing her and being on top of her while taking off her sweater, her shirt, her jeans, her bra, her panties. Now she was bare, too. Except for her glasses.

"I know you want to leave the glasses on, but won't that kind of bother later?"

"Let me."

This lovely, lovely woman. How could she feel jealous to Alex? He supposed Alex was cute. But the woman before her just exuded sex as naturally as fire produced smoke. It was as if sex was all she could give. He took her glasses off.

And stopped.

He looked at the glasses. He was silent. He didn't move.

"What's wrong?"

"These glasses."

"What?"

"These glasses."

"What about them?"

"These glasses."

"_What about them?"_

"It's all that has changed."

"What do you mean?"

"When I take these glasses off, what do you have?"

"That's a silly question. I—"

But she had nothing to say, and he knew he'd scored.

He sat.

"What's going on?"

"These glasses." He flicked them away like garbage. "These glasses aside, you've never changed."

"Okay, I've had enough of all these philosophical mumbo-jumbo about glasses and change—"

"You never have made an effort to become a better partner."

"That's not true! I just told you I took basic science classes—"

"Which you have never finished."

"It's not my fault if the professors are so boring."

He stood.

"Leave."

"What?"

"You heard me. Leave."

"Why?"

"_It's not my fault if the professors are so boring. _Fuck you. You're just lazy."

"I'm _what_?" Now she stood too. "What did you say?"

"You're lazy."

She tried to slap him across the face, but he caught it.

"What did you ask me just then? How could I not kill myself with all those classes? Well, I'm still alive, aren't I? And I still like science, don't I?"

"But you have no idea how boring my professors are! They're the one to blame—"

"And they should apologize to you for that." He raised his hand before she could reply. "Of course they should. Of course everyone always has to apologize to you."

"No, it's not like that."

"Really? You're insecure about your brain. Then study, goddamn it. Take some classes. Change! Instead you quit. Instead, all the change you're willing to give to me—" He picked up these glasses and wiggled them before her face "—is this."

"But you did admit you like those glasses."

He found himself laughing. Laugh and laugh and laugh. He laughed as long as he could until his laughter petered.

"Without sex, what can you bring to our relationship?"

She was silent.

"You mooch on our food. You take our Wi-Fi. Your actress career consists of one-shot laxative ad. If you're not pretty, what can you give to me?"

Still silent.

"I have to ask you something. You're mad at me because Alex made a pass on me. How is it my fault?"

She found her voice. "Because I'm insecure in front of her."

"I'm insecure in front of that English-accent guy, and I didn't make you play a goddamn cello on my doorstep just so I open my door to you."

"But that's because you weren't being rational!"

"Well, were you? You didn't even give me a chance to explain either! Why should I apologize to you? For fuck's sake, it's _her _who hit on me, _not _me on her, so what did I have to apologize for? I did not hit on her, _I was being hit on! _Why am I the one who has to apologize?"

Silence.

"Admit it, fuck is all you can give to me."

"That's not true!"

"Oh yeah? What makes you better than Alex? What is it that makes you deserve my apology?"

Silence again.

"Your cuteness? You admit it yourself, she is cute. Your fun? She invites me to a science symposium. Your patience? She hasn't quit Sheldon, for fuck's sake. Everything you can do, she can do it, too, perhaps even better. Now, instead of recognizing that fact and working your ass off to rival her, all you did was buy these glasses and hope I still like your cunt."

She cried. She tried to bury her face in his chest, but he pushed her away. He was all out of compassion. She was the one who had brought him into the outside world, but that didn't mean he always had to kowtow to her. In fact, it was exactly because he knew the ways of world now that he knew he was in the right this time. It was past time to deconstruct this double standard.

"Look, Leonard..." she said, when her cries reduced to controllable sobbing. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about this. Can you just give me a chance?"

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close your eyes."

She did.

"Imagine yourself in a world where you're a scientist and this handsome man next door is an aspiring actor. You and this boy date. But then, where you work, there's this new guy, a scientist like you. Even though you make it clear you're already taken, he still hits on you. When your boyfriend find out about this guy, he refuses to talk to you until you beg him. He makes you apologize for being hit on. And then he says he's afraid his brain can't catch up with yours. The night after, he says he plans to take some class in college, but instead of seeing them through he decides to just buy a pair of glasses.

"Now, the question is: Do you think this boyfriend of yours is a cunt?"

"Yes."

As soon as that she opened her eyes. A mirror stood in front of her. He smiled.

"Get the fuck out of here, Penny."


	3. Chapter 3

"If these were 40 year old men screaming for 17 year old girls, they'd be on To Catch a Predator so fast it would make your head spin."—Anonymous, about how Twilight fans behave.

NOTE: Time for a change.

* * *

CALTECH

"What the fuck did you do?"

Raj looked up. It was Howard.

"I beg your pardon?"

Howard strode fast across Raj's office. Without preamble he reached across Raj's desk and grabbed Raj's shirt and faced Raj's face so close they could sniff each other's breath. A blind man would know from Howard's breath that he was so very pissed.

"You cunt," Howard said. "You called the cops and had them arrest my mother."

"What choice did I have?"

"You could have escaped through the window—"

"I did that, and she bearhugged me in."

"Yeah, but—"

"She took my clothes, my shoes, pulled me when I tried to get out. What's the word?"

"Loneliness."

"She _imprisoned _me, Howard! She kept me in her house without my consent! "

"Oh, please. I—"

"Yes, you. But not me." Raj pushed Howard off so suddenly that Howard landed on his ass. "Whatever it's been between you and your mother, I'm not going to have any of it."

Howard rose right away. "But you didn't have to involve the cops. Now I must bail my mother out of jail." Sparks could have been shooting off his nostrils. "You know my mother's only lonely."

"And that makes it all right to bearhug someone into somewhere he doesn't consent to be?"

"For God's sake, Raj, she's only a woman!"

"What? A woman? What the fuck do you think is this? A TV sitcom? Where the audience are laughing when when I had to climb through the window just to get out, and still laughing when I found myself screaming as your mother bearhugged from behind?"

"Gotta admit it would make a good comedic scene."

"So you'll laugh at that."

"Yes."

Raj closed his eyes, took a long deep breath, and pointed at the door.

"Get the fuck out of here."

"What?"

"If your mother is a man and I am a woman, will you laugh?"

Silence.

"Picture that scene again. Except this time you change the actors. Instead of an funny Indian scientist, you have a teenage girl. Instead of a fat Jewish mother, you have a man at your father's age. Can you do that? Can you do that and still laugh?"

Still silence.

"Think! If the audience watch a man bearhug a woman by force to his house, would they laugh? Would _you _laugh? No! They—you would scream 'rape!' 'Rapist!' 'Kill that rapist!' But because I am a man and your mother is a woman, you laugh."

Silence again.

"This is the United States of America, 2013." He shook his head. "To think people would find that scene funny...it is past time to deconstruct this double standard."


End file.
